Peace by Piece

A new era spawns a new title for my blog.  I am still in the business of peace, or at least trying to break in; which actually doesn't sound very peaceful.  Today I butted up against the question of "why should someone have to look so hard, try so hard to find a place that will allow her to grow, learn, contribute and make a difference?"  For as long as I remember, I have believed that I was meant for something great in this world.  I want to inspire, to change, to love, and to make a difference.  My laptop sticker reads: "Given a cape and a fairly nice tiara, I could change the world".   The thought has dawned on me that since this sticker exists on the mass market, I must not be the only one that feels this way.

We all have purpose.  Many people seem to believe this.  I believe it.  When I found out that I did not get the job that I thought was undoubtedly designed just for me and that all of the stars and planets were finally in alignment with my desires, the most prominent response from friends and family was a variation of this: “Things always happen for a reason and that just means there is an even better job out there waiting for you.” 

In speaking with a friend yesterday, she told me of the job search strategy that she had to start employing – don’t get your hopes up.  Can you imagine that this may be how 12.5 million Americans are feeling?  Americans living in the United States are giving up on dreaming.  We are the country that coined the phrase, “The American Dream”!

Yesterday, when I found out that I did not get the job at Northwestern, I had a melt down.  I am only glad that no one was around to see it.  I lost hope for all of 30 minutes to an hour.  Then I went to the library and sent out another job application.  This morning I had the brief thought that I wished I had not flown to Chicago for the interview because then I would never have dreamed of my life there.  I believe in manifestation and staying positive so every day I would imagine myself being offered the job and accepting.  I looked for apartments on Craigslist and imagined the work I would be doing and the people I would meet.  I made plans for my family to come visit.  Sometimes I would chastise myself saying, “don’t get your hopes up too much”, but I still did.  Would I take it back?  No.  I wouldn’t.  I like who I am and what I am is resilient.  I have been knocked down in life many times and I am still standing.  Wow.  This is starting to sound like sound bytes from old rock and pop songs.

Unbelievably, this is the second time that I have been a final candidate for a job.  The last one was in Denver and they flew me there from Costa Rica to interview.  Both times the reason I did not get the job was because someone else had the experience that I lacked.  I wonder how or why I get so far in the process if prospective employers have a ringer in their back pocket?  A friend alerted me to the fact that maybe they like or even love the idea of me.  My experience is incredibly varied, interesting, and even cool.  My passion floweth over and this is probably evident in the inspired cover letters I seem to mass-produce.  How can someone with a graduate degree and 14 years of international experience not have enough experience? 

I think it is linear thinking that is my nemesis.  Thinking outside the box is what we are supposed to do in this day and age.  So, why not take a chance on me?  I think there’s a song about that.  I wish that an employer would see my potential, drive and spirit and take an interest in my development.  If someone were aspiring to greatness, wouldn’t you want to be a part of it?   I can only believe that someone will and when they do, I won’t let them down.

I recently heard David Orr, an accomplished environmentalist; speak at Case Western University in Cleveland.  He said that we earn our hope by acting consciously and responsibly.  He also said that he has been an Indians fan for over 20 years and that alone says something about his thoughts on hope.

Today I am back to planning and conspiring for my future.  I would love a break.  I would love for things to be easier.  But things are what they are and I have a lot to be thankful for.  I can only hope that I will have the opportunity to do something great.  Until then, I will take some advice from Dr. Brian Weiss, “If you do not have the opportunity to do great things, you can do small things in a great way."

Hopeful Indians Fans